Insane

She is driving me insane! I have gotten virtually no sleep yet tonight! She can't breathe; her nose is stopped up, and she has no grasp of what time it is or the fact that she is keeping me from sleeping! I don't know what to do for her! I gave her a Mucinex and I've put peppermint oil under her nose all night long and even given her an Airborne. These are all the natural things I know to do for her. I can't give her a decongestant because of her high blood pressure. Now I've got her sitting up in the living room with a hot toddy--hopefully it will make her go to sleep, whether she can breathe or not. She's drinking it, although she said she didn't like it--I put a lot of honey in it since she likes that so much. I'm so afraid of doing something wrong and killing her. That sounds silly but just put yourself in my place and you'd feel the same, I'm sure.

She keeps making those moaning-esque noises and it's driving me crazy! Usually I tell her to quit and she stops, but she's ignoring me. She does it to amuse herself or because she doesn't realize she's doing it. But it drives me up a wall!

Good, she seems to have stopped.

No, there she goes again. I feel like such a bitch quasi-yelling at her to stop, but it makes me want to pull my hair out--especially at 4 AM.

I got her up to use the potty and then put her in here in the living room and got her settled in her chair with her hot toddy--feet up on a pillow, blanket over her, hot bean bag on her shoulder. Then she says she has to use the potty! I about flipped! So I went and got it and put it next to her chair for her to use in here. I didn't want to risk getting her to the toilet after she'd drunk some hot bourbon, you know? Sure enough, she did pee--about a thimble-full. I'll just keep it in the next room in case she has to go again.

Good--she seems to be going to sleep. But what about me? I'm wrecked! Am I a selfish beast? I feel like one. It's not like I have to get up and go to a job site tomorrow. I guess it's just that I haven't been sleeping well lately and was really hoping I'd get some sleep tonight. I was already awake till about 1:30 or 2 reading and then still couldn't sleep. She kept calling me in to tell me she couldn't breathe. I feel so sorry for her but also pissed off because there's nothing I can do for her and she's like a baby that doesn't understand and expects me to fix her.

Well, I'm going to make sure she's finished her drink and then maybe I can turn the light out and lay back down on the couch and get some sleep. I went for a walk with Bella this afternoon in Cherokee Park and made sure I only had one cup of tea (I don't drink much coffee in the fall or winter.), but it doesn't seem to have done much good in fighting my insomnia. Oddly enough, I was so sleepy all day, I just wanted to close my eyes and nap. (Now I'm really waking up and getting chatty.) I made a rhubarb pie the night before last and we ate the whole thing yesterday! Well, I gave 1/3 of it to Mom because she gave me the rhubarb--the last bit out of the garden. It's unusual to get some so late and it was a bit tough and not as sour as the earlier stuff but still rhubarb--yum, yum, pig's bum! I think the crust was the best I've ever made. Jo said she'd never had a rhubarb pie with custard in it. That's the only recipe I've ever had. It's so delish I wouldn't want to try another. Fred swears you have to have strawberries with your rhubarb, but I've never had that.

Mary's saying, "Red hair. She's cute," then laughing. Why do old people see things? Jo thinks they see things that we don't but I'm not sure about that. I guess I'll never know. Damn, she's not going to sleep; she's looking at one of her photo albums! I finally got around to getting some prints made and putting them in there. Can she even see anything? She doesn't have her glasses on. Maybe if/when I turn the light out... argh. As I always say, if it's not one thing, it's your mother; and if it's not your mother, it's your aunt ;-)