Kitty Baby

I've had this funny suspicion that the cat likes this red blanket that Mary often puts over her lap here int he living room. The cat was just sitting on the coffee table next to Mary's chair but seemed hesitant to get into her lap. I told her to put the red blanket over her lap and, sure enough, the cat got right on over onto her lap! Too funny.

I've quit using an alarm clock because the generally wakes me up around 6:30 or 7:00. She'll put her face really close to mine and purr really loudly. Today she actually touched her nose to my lip! She also kneads my arm or chest or walks across my chest (ouch!) or lays on my belly. She also pushes her head under my hand so that I have to pet her. That's actually the best way to wake me up!

Not to change the subject, but, is it just me or has anyone else noticed that the Arby's "hat" that appears above the guys' heads in their TV commercials looks an awful lot like a penis? Are they trying to subtly influence men so that when they think of their penis, they get hungry for Arby's? Hm. Mary doesn't see it. I think it's just been too long since she's seen a penis!

She sat outside today while I cut the grass in the front yard. It was about 85 out but she didn't seem to mind. I made some iced tea for us and made sure she had her sunglasses on. I like to get her outside when I can. I hate it that she lives her life (well, and so do I!) almost exclusively indoors. That seems so unnatural. Can I tellyou her yard is a major bitch to cut! It's almost all slopes, full of holes, mostly weeds, has several drains and bushes. I have a lot of work cut out for me next year because I need to kill all the growth around her shrubs and put mulch there. I decided this year not to spend the money, but I know it would look so much nicer and everyone else around here has such nice looking yards. I'd also like to make a 2-foot border around the back yard and eventually a 1-foot border around the patio with miniature roses. I'd also like to mulch these borders. And I'd like to plant some tulips and crocuses and grape hyacinths in-between the roses. Did I tell you that the guy from Champion said it would be about $3500 to put in new windows? I know Mary doesn't want to spend the money, but I also know that she would enjoy it so much. What do I do? She's lived with them the way they are for nine years. But she spends so much of her time next to them now. I should get rid of my car and get the windows. But isn't that screwing myself? I mean, I probably won't get this house, so I'm spending my own money for Aunt Anna. And I like my car better than Mary's in a lot of ways, even though her car is a much better-quality car. O je.

I think I'm getting over this funk I've been in for the last several months. I wrote myself a letter and made it clear to myself what I'm unhappy about and why and what I'd like from/for myself. I've been ensconced by such a lethargy. Funny how "lethargy" looks so much like "lethal." I've felt like every day was a struggle to get through, trying to get myself to do the housework, do the dishes, cook dinner, fix lunch or breakfast, give Mary a shower or take one myself, make sure we brushed our teeth even once a day, do the laundry, pay bills... I hope I've turned over a new leaf. Mary had showered, dressed and brushed her teeth by 10:30 this morning. But I'm so afraid I'll backslide. I also got off my diet and gained five pounds back. I've been eating like I'm trying to gain weight!

Well, Mary says she's tired, so we'll hit the hay.

New Medication

I took Mary to the hospital today to get training for a new medication. It's called Forteo, and I'll have to administer it to her by way of a shot every day for two years! However, after that she will supposedly have the bones of a 20-year-old! Mom said, "Oh, no! She'll live to be 200 now!" The thing is that we don't want Mary to live longer than her enjoyment of life. If her mind continues to go and she doesn't remember anything, then is she still Mary? She's already forgetting so many simple words. She can't remember names of simple flowers and birds. She can never remember what "that little bird" is--ie, hummingbird. (They come about every few minutes now.) I've noticed, too, that it's not much fun to read to her because she can't concentrate on what I'm reading and never knows (even if she looks like she's listening) what I've just read. (I can sort of understand because we're reading the fifth Harry Potter book and I don't find it so interesting either! In fact, everyone's angry and he's got a headache throughout the book--which makes me feel like I'm getting a migraine.) Also, if she reads something, she can't sum it up for me.

She did much better walking today. Maybe it was the Darvocet that I gave her after breakfast. She even managed (with just a little glitch getting into her chair at the end) to get up the stairs and back into the house when we got home.

I've been having her sit in the living room more. With it being in the 90's every day, I think it's just too hot on the back porch--even if she doesn't notice it. Someone came to give us an estimate to get the windows replaced with insulated double-paned glass: $3500! Whoa! Too much. I got a ceiling fan and hope the guy who put the handrail in will put the fan in, too.

We've gotten quite a few roses already and have really enjoyed them. I keep telling Mary, "This is from our garden," and she'll reply, "Oh, really? (How 'bout that!)"

I think she wants to get to bed. Me, too. I got up at 4:30 this morning.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how nice it would be to have a guy in my life. But that's pretty much impossible. Even having a friend is pretty impossible. Since I joined the gym, I haven't even been able to see Mom much. Speaking of which, I haven't been there regularly lately. No time after running other errands. And next Tuesday I actually have a doctor's appointment for myself.