Just Bored and Complaining

I'm just writing because I don't want to go to bed. I've gotten into the horrible habit of staying up till 2 AM. I'm such a child. I just don't want to go to bed. I lay there and think about all the things I didn't do today. Then I'm so tired when I get up--around 11 o'clock--that I can't think straight and don't want to do anything all day. It's so embarrassing. I'm just plain lazy. There's no excuse.

I wonder so much why I put things off. There's like a lowish brick or cement wall that I'd have to cross and I'm just too lazy to lift my leg high enough to get over. I was wondering today why there is always, always, always something that needs to be done that I haven't done. Why can't life be simpler? Is that too much to ask? Or is it just me? Will I always leave things left undone. Is that human nature or are there people out there who always get everything done when they have time. Because it's not like I don't have enough time. That's all I've got. Maybe I've got too much time! I have thought that maybe I'm afraid of getting everything done. Afraid that then I'll be bored. But I can't believe it's so simple. Or should I say so complicated? I think it's really just that I'm lazy. It's that simple.

It's usually easier to play and leave the unpleasant work undone. But my playing right now would be baking cookies and I haven't even done much of that. Mary wants to help or is simply bored and a distraction and Rudi barks every time the timer goes off, which, as anyone who has baked cookies knows, is quite often! Argh!

Oh, so many things are piling up!

• the bathroom ceiling is leaking and I need to call the insurance man
• someone stole the deposit bag from Mary's bank and now I've had to open another account and transfer all the automatic payments and deposits--a million jobs in one
• the doctor hasn't called about the follow-up on the abnormal pap smear that Mary had, so I'll have to call again
• Mary and I both need to go to the dentist and the eye doctor
• the pipe leading off from the washing machine needs to have a snake put down it--this pipe keeps overflowing when the washer goes through the spin cycle and there's a nasty smell in the basement
• the rear turn signal on my car needs to be fixed--I'm actually working on this now that I've gotten the battery fixed (ie, now that Jo went and took care of getting a new one for me)
• there's something scratching around in the attic/crawl space--but I don't think I can do much about that
• Mary's latest UTI doesn't seem to be getting any better with this antibiotic prescription
• in general I don't take care of Mary's or my hygiene very well anymore--washing and brushing teeth--that's really embarrassing!
• I really need to lose weight--I've gained 15 lb over my usual overweightness and none of my clothes fit properly but I just can't stick with a diet or get myself to exercise--esp. since I moved the elliptical machine to the back porch to satisfy Mary since she didn't like it in the living room
• I should be taking the dogs for a walk every day--but that makes me nervous, too, since I have to leave Mary alone for those 10-15 minutes
• I should be getting Mary up and about more--I transfer her instead of getting her to walk, but I feel like I should take it easy on her when she's got a UTI...
• Jo's taken over the washing and now the clothes are piling up!!!
• Mom's lonely and I feel like I don't give her enough attention
• I worry about my Gina's boys, that we'll lose touch, well, more than we have already
• there's a hole in one of the storm windows that needs to be fixed (ie, replace)--but that's quite low on the list
• I'm so lazy about cooking that Mary and I often don't eat enough veggies or fruit, even
• I spend way too much money at the grocery and eBay--it's like a disease--well, it wouldn't be much for many people, but I should always try to spend as little as possible
• I don't really interact with Mary enough
• I haven't played the piano in over a year
• I've got tons of stuff that needs to be mended--a whole trash bag full

I could probably go on, but it's almost 2 AM, and that's my personal limit--yes, I do have one.

Why can't I be a perfect person? It should be so easy in my situation.

Oh, before I forget--there was a little article about my/Gina's cookie recipe in the newspaper recently. There was a big picture--it was just a section for our area of town. It had Mary in the picture, too, and our names. She was so thrilled. She kept saying: I wonder what Mother will say. I wonder what they'll think at home.

She wants to go home all the time and it is driving me crazy. I think I've found at least that I can say, "Oh, but you're not going home today are you?" to which she answers no and then I'll just say, "Then let's not talk about it right now, ok?" That seems to work. Sometimes she starts to cry, though, and then it's hard work to calm her down. How in the world does she see reality? What are her thoughts like? Do they just bounce around inside her head, one not really connected with the other? Sometimes she'll come out with something quite clever or an astute observation. Her sense of humor is quite good and I always thought that was a sign of intelligence. She worries a lot about money. This annoys the hell out of me. She really has no worries there, but I do! What will I have to show for my life after she's gone? What will happen to me? But I can't think about it too much. Life happens to you while you're busy making other plans. And now I'm going to turn into a pumpkin!

Cha-Ching II

I discovered a while back that Mary really liked Shirley Temple. I finally acted on this and bought her a few Shirley Temple DVDs. She can watch every one of the them twice through and never get bored with them. I'm about to pull my hair out, though. Those melodies get stuck in my head--argh!

Boring but Useful

This is very boring but maybe useful information. I have discovered that when I'm pulling Mary up to the head of her bed (that is, pulling on her, oh, what do they call it? Mattress protector from the hospital, so that she'll be high enough that when I put the head of the bed up, which is better for her digestive tract) it is better to have her bend both knees and push with both legs. In the hospital they always said to bend one leg, so I did that for years. It's hard enough pulling her up because I'm to the side, not directly behind, so any bit of help is greatly appreciated. Sometimes she can give me a big boost this way instead of a nominal one.

Cha-ching!

I think I've hit the jackpot! I got Mary a toy from the drug store. It's called Playskool Busy Basics Form Fitter. It is a square with three shapes cut out of each side. There are nine pieces in different colors with a 3-D pattern (stripes, triangles, circles) to match the pattern on the side where it fits. There's one side that is a different color and it opens like a door so you can take the pieces out when you're finished. She played with it three times--I had to walk her through the first time--and then I set it aside while she ate lunch. After eating, she pointed to it on the table next to her and asked what it was (!), so I explained and set her up to play with it again. When she gets finished she sometimes asks me what now or I'll help her get them out and she asks what it is. I tell her it's like a game and a puzzle at the same time. She has been busy with it for at least an hour now. I'm so excited!

All the while she's working at it, she's making noises, which tells me she's occupied. Sometimes it's "uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" or sometimes "uh-uh-uh-uh-uh" in a strange sort of "ti-do-re-mi-do" pattern. Lots of different noises. It's funny but I can tell when she's dropped or spilled something by the sound she starts making.

She just announced to me that she had them all in there. I asked if she knew how to get them out and she said no, so I told to find the green side. She found it and then I told her to find the shape that looked like a smile-y face and pull up on it. She pulled so hard, the whole door came off! She asked if she'd broken it, but I told her she couldn't break it unless she sat on it and then I put it back on. Then she asked, "Now what?" so I told her to find which piece fit where. I honestly think she doesn't remember, no, I just asked, she does not remember ever having done it before. Fascinating.

I just saw a blurb about a book at the library called _The Woman Who Can't Forget_. I told Mary about it and she said she thought that sounded wonderful, but I explained that it can be awful to have so much in your head and not be able to forget things. As long as you have someone you trust to look after you and Mary's easy-going temperament, then I guess it's better to be blissfully forgetful.

This is interesting, too. Mary is right-handed, but she's been putting the pieces in with her left hand, regardless of the fact that her left shoulder hurts her so much. Maybe her right hand shakes too much.

My List of Woes

• Angie passed away.
  
• Mary has pneumonia (antibiotics can be hell).
• I feel like dog doodoo from not getting any sleep.
• I have to get Mary in to see the doctor--always a p in the a.
• I think I have a bladder infection.
• Mary's car has broken down and the shop says it will take at least $1500 to fix it.

Typical Conversation

(Returning to the kitchen from changing Mary’s pant b/c she’d spilled coffee on her lap.)

B—Well, no more coffee for you!

M—What?! Why?!

B—Cause you just spilled your last cup on your lap.

M—I did not!

B—We just changed your pants because they were all wet!

M—I did not just change my pants!

B—Sometimes I wish these dogs could talk.

M—I guess you do!

B—I need some back-up—bad!

M—You feel bad? About it?

B—No, I don’t.

M—Doesn’t help, anyway.

B—No, not much.

M—Nobody cares anyway.

B—No, they don’t.

M—Nobody cares. (Boo hoo hoo!) Nobody cares about me!

(B cringing as her brain starts to feel like it's spinning inside her head.)

Feeling Down and Yet Up

I'm actually feeling depressed for the first time since I can remember. Jo is gone for the weekend (to see a "Bodies" exhibit, I think), so that's probably why I feel lonely and blue. I was fine until we were watching a video about Marc Chagall and I think something about the weirdness of his juxtaposition of images, the foreign-ness of it, started effecting me, so by the time it was over, I was feeling yucky emotionally.

Oddly enough, although I'm missing Jo, I also sense a sort of, for lack of a better word, freedom and return to former self. I've been so remiss of my former ability to get things done--although I recall markedly that I usually went to bed feeling like I had gotten nothing done. I can't remember the last time I stuck to my Task Schedule (where I have a certain few things to do on each day). I also cannot seem to get the mail looked at and dealt with--consequently, problems keep arising and every time I think about taxes, I get broiling stomach ache. Other things just get in the way. Like...doing little things for Mary, my cake decorating stuff (lent some urgency by way of having a class each week and also by my own personal enthusiasm), other household tasks such as sweeping the floor, vacuuming, laundry, dishes... and then there're other silly whims such as email, MySpace and eBay. Not to mention the guy I like, J. Yes, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about him--especially when I should be sleeping, so that I seem to lie awake half the night and must sleep in till at least 10:30 and then feel tired all day. And once again I am made aware of the futility of this infatuation by my brother telling my mom that J has been hitting on a woman whose husband died recently. J and I were recently quite intimate, but we didn't "go all the way," and since then he has been more distant than before. That makes me very happy that I stuck to my guns but also disappointed that he is...what can I say without being judgmental? I want to say that he is so shallow, but who am I to judge his needs/desires? Oh, the whole subject is getting so that it bores me to death, as my mom says--meaning that it annoys her :-) Che sera, sera, non c'e? Especially since Jo is going to be teaching Monday through Thursday night next quarter, so I'd have even less time to do things with J anyway. He's smart to find someone else to go out with.

OK, enough about me--to Mary. I have discovered some good things.

• I have always struggled with getting tops off her when the neck opening is rather small. I have finally realized that I need to pull the front up over her face before or at the same time as I pull the back up over her head. Sounds simple, but it has taken me years to understand this. In the same vein, the sleeves need to go on the arms with the top on the top of her arm, so that they are lined up properly. For years I struggled with twisting them into the proper position after I got the shirt on. Duh! Also, the sleeves need to be pulled up at least to the elbow before the neck goes over the head.
• If Mary falls, the best way to get her up is to pull the wheelchair (or a chair) up behind me and put the walker in front of her--her legs will be straight out in front of her (hopefully). She might also need some sort of small rug to brace her feet on if the floor is slippery. I then pull up under her arms (ugh!) and pull her onto my lap as I sit in the chair. Then I stand her up and move out, maybe pulling the chair closer to her and let her sit. I've done this several times and, while it still requires some herculean effort, which I will pay for the next day, it is doable and works and is fairly safe for us both.
• To clean Mary's nails when she has gotten feces in them from wiping (since she often doesn't realize how far back she's going or forgets that the back is my area), I put a little liquid soap in her spit bowl (from the hospital) and put the nail brush in there and cover the brush with warm water. Then I hold this on top of a towel (in case it spills) in front of her while she's still sitting on the potty and let her run her nails over the brush. You can't imagine how frustrated I've been with trying to get her nails clean at the sink. She can't stand that long and so I end up propping her up with my knee and we both get tired. Sometimes I would brush her nails for her to get it done faster but the last time I tried that, I had to step a bit to the side to reach her better and she slowly slid over until she was on the floor. Argh! Now I can get her nails clean and don't have such a fit when she gets them nasty dirty. Of course, I'm still majorly annoyed because she has probably drug feces over her urethra and vagina and has thereby greatly increased the chances that she'll be getting another UTI soon, but since I can't do much about that--I can't not let her wipe herself at all--it's better to just not get upset about it.
• If I need to work in the kitchen after dinner (usually washing dishes or baking a cake), I can set up my laptop on a little table and box so it's at Mary's eye-level and put in a DVD for her to watch. This has worked fairly well if the movie has kids in it. I also put headphones on (along with the subtitles) so that she can hear it. Without them, she really can't hear the dialog.
  

Some Money

While I was emptying the port-a-potty this morning, I opened Mary's dresser drawer and gave her a brush to fix her hair with--I usually do it because she can't do it as well. She finished with her hair and started to mess around in the drawer. I tell you, she is as curious as a cat! She found this beautiful little change purse that Jan and Ed had given her a few years ago and was delighted with it, so I had the bright idea to put a dollar in there. It's kind of hilarious because every time she opens it, she is completely surprised. I'll be curious to see if at some point she remembers that there's money in there. I also took her old note that she'd stuffed in her robe pocket and wrote on the back that all the money we have is hers and put it in the purse. I did this while she was eating breakfast and she just watched me! She said that she would be opening it to find out what I'd put in there. I've never seen her eat so fast! It was Nutella on toast--very messy.

I'm going to see a play with J today. I haven't heard much from him recently and have kind of lost interest. That's funny because I thought he'd be the one to lose interest. He sent me an email around 2AM this morning implying that he felt very passionate about me. Hm. At this point I've got some distance and I think he's just flirting. It will be interesting trying to figure him out--if I don't get too entangled. Did I mention that my ex-boyfriend from Germany has decided to come visit? He wants to keep his oar in, or whatever that saying is. Gee, I feel so...desired!

She just read about the money and wanted to know where she got it, so I gave my pat answer: Well, you were married three times. That seems to do it.

Oh, now I see that she had only half-finished her breakfast. I hope she didn't get Nutella all over the purse!

ENT visit for her tomorrow. I hope he can get her straightened out. My throat is hurting again. And my ears don't seem to be much, if any, better.

I'll Be Dog

We're watching The Andy Griffith Show and Andy said, "I'll be dog!" I just about died cause I've heard Mary say that several times and I always thought she was being silly, just making a mistake.

Sisters

Angie called on Sunday! She's at her daughter Johanna's in Lewisport. Jo said she thought Mary's b-day was on the 20th. We got disconnected, which was fortunate because I had to call them back on my cell phone, which I don't often use due to it being a ToGo phone (no free minutes), and I discovered that the speaker phone on my cell phone is louder than the one on the regular phone, so Mary was able to understand much more. Not that it helped the conversation that much! Those two are a bit out of it :-) Yesterday evening I got Mary to call Anna since she'd be able to understand her this time. They both seemed to really enjoy the conversation but as soon as Mary hung up she said, "Now I don't know who that was!" O je!

I made Lentils and Sausage last night, so I got Mary to cut the sausage up. I'm always so glad when I have something for her to do. Actually, she did a much better (more consistent and closer to what I wanted) job this time than ever before! I like the sausage cut up into 1/4 inch coins. One time I had her doing it and she remarked that she didn't care for a job that had to be done so particularly! She wanted to just cut them up all willy-nilly, but that doesn't look very nice, now does it? Dinner was delicious, by the way :-) I had this old box of Dr Oetker Flan/Creme Caramel so I went ahead and made that for dessert while the Lentils were cooking. Mary enjoyed it so much. That's funny because she never cared for pudding. She likes everything now--well, except for watermelon. She still won't eat that!

It has snowed, so I think I'll make some marshmallows. I hope she will lick the whisk. It's so funny to see her tackle it and get the marshmallow everywhere. She always says, "You made this? I've never had homemade marshmallow!" She's always asking me, "You made this? Well, honey, you did a good job!" She's always so appreciative. That's probably why I take care of her--purely for the ego-stroking!

Coming to Terms

Mary has read and reread her cards, which tickles me to death. I love it when she has something to do! She loves her flowers and the balloons that Bonnie brought. She seems to have come to terms with being 97. Sometimes she still says, "Well, I guess I'll be dying soon." I always answer, "Well, that's up to you and God." Sometimes she'll be really on the ball and say something like, "I've only got three years to a hundred!" Occasionally, she'll say she wants to live to be 100 or older, and I'll reply that she probably will and I'm going to be an old, old maid when she's done with me and nobody will want me. (A little guilt never hurt anyone!)

She kept looking at the dozen yellow roses I gave her and saying she wished she could give me something. I tell her she does, but she often doesn't hear. (Her hearing seems to have gotten only a smidgen better.) Actually, I've been really bad and have been buying lots of panties. The thing is that when I do buy them, I buy good ones, so that when I go to buy them again, I don't know what to get. Mom told me to get one type, but that was wrong and then I tried another and that's not what I like either. Argh! The thing is that they don't make what I bought last and really liked. I wonder if other women detest buying bras and panties like I do. I also bought several things from Victoria's Secret (online) because I'm tired on not having any sexy tops to wear. The clothes in Germany seemed to be more...feminine. All the tops here seem to come right up to your chin. Mom always told me, "If you've got it, flaunt it." I've also bought a couple of red lipsticks lately--trying to find the right one. I guess it's J's interest in me that is making me want to be more feminine and attractive. Oh, Jo also got me to order a black dress from Coldwater Creek. It was only $30 (the stuff from VS was around $140) and is very attractive on me. If Mary knew how much I do spend on myself (it's only in spurts, though, not all the time: wenn schon, denn schon), she'd probably have a cow. Well, I got her quite a few things for Christmas, so it's really only fair :-)

I finally broke down and sent J an email yesterday since I hadn't heard from him for so long. I saw on his MySpace page that he was online. He promptly called me, which was nice. We're planning on going to see The Tempest at ATL next Sunday. We'll get standing room only tickets and pray that we get to sit (together) :-) I guess he really isn't that interested in me. Otherwise he'd want to see me more often, right? So I should just enjoy having someone I like to do things with and not get so emotionally involved--every woman's conundrum!

97

I think Mary had a pretty nice birthday. Lots of people showed up. Well, I had a great time, even if she didn't or doesn't remember it :-)

Now You See Them, Now You Don't

Mary was driving me crazy this evening with seeing someone at the door and waving to them and telling them to come in, so I took the curtain down. It didn't help, so I taped brown paper over the window. I hate it, but it saved my sanity, so it will stay. Maybe I can find some nicer paper, but right now I'm just too tired.

Just after dinner, Mary had to use the bathroom. I think it was the worst I've ever had to clean up. I don't mind so much as long as I have the rubber gloves, but I was just tired. Her not being able to hear is very, very tiring. She doesn't even try to read your lips.

I'm so tired because she started having chest pain around 6 or 6:30 and then she wanted to get up around 7 or 7:30. I've been having trouble getting to sleep--still turned around from my being sick, I guess.

I finally took my note down today because she was so upset that Grandma had passed away and she didn't know it and wondered if she'd seen her or visited her much. Then she starts wondering if she's been a good person and why she doesn't hear from her family. Argh!

I had to go today to get another skein of yarn to finish the baby afghan I'm crocheting for the baby of one of my nieces. I hate to work on it at the moment, though, because Mary keeps asking what I'm making. Maybe I'll just write it out :-)

I have Mary's birthday cake in the oven. It smells heavenly. It's called Harvest Moon Cake and has dark brown sugar instead of granulated and a 7-minute caramel frosting (like sea foam) with walnuts in it. Oh, it also has dark rum brushed on the layers and a sprinkling of nuts on the top. 3 8"-inch layers. I can't wait to taste it!

Barri (Mary's last husband's daughter) sent Mary a card and I got one out and signed it and gave it to her, she kept reading them and seemed alright with her turning 97. Thank goodness she's finally come to accept it!

Well, I've got to wash the dishes. I'm going to an ENT tomorrow, I hope--if it doesn't snow like crazy, which I don't think it will. Can't wait to get straightened out!!!

Bright Idea

I got so tired of Mary asking me the same questions and making the same strange statements, that I wrote a note and attached it to the lamp next to her chair. She has read it many times and it seems to be helping to keep her from asking those questions. It says something like: This is your house. You bought it 12 years ago after Uncle Harry died. I have lived here with you for 8 years. You will be 97 this Friday. Grandma passed away 30 years ago. I don't think she's finding it upsetting--just informative.

I'm going to see an ENT on Friday (weather permitting--it's supposed to snow like crazy) and called to see if she could get in, too, but they didn't have any free times. I should see about getting her to Dr Murphy; he's tested her hearing before. That way, they should have a record and can compare it. I wish I could get them to clean her ears. I have the feeling that it's just wax build-up. When I look in her ears, I see lots of stuff, but if I try to clean it out, she squeals like a stuck pig.

Speaking of which, I got Babe out of the library again, but, once again, she just slept through it. Maybe if it were the DVD with the subtitles, it would be more interesting. I'm having to turn her TV Ears all the way up but I'm not sure she can really hear at that volume and they tend to malfunction at full blast--getting static-y easily, for example.

She can't take her eyes off that note this morning. I hope she's ok. I plan on making her a cake called "Harvest Moon Cake." It seems normal but with brown sugar and caramel 7-minute frosting. That will be like sea foam, so there's more of a chance that Mom will come to get a piece :-)

Mary just said she's areading that note and some of it she can't believe.

Someone laughed the other day at the "country" way I have of saying the word "eggs." That means that Mary has rubbed off on me. I sometimes imitate her way of saying certain words, just to tease her, and I've often wondered if I'll accidentally pick up saying them that way for good. It looks like I have! She says something like aigs instead of ehgs.

She's in amazement that she'll be 97. She says she's going to call Anna and talk to her about it. (It didn't help because she couldn't hear anything Anna said!)

Say What?

Mary is driving me crazy! I realized today that it's been way too long (since Fred's party?) since I've had a break. I keep losing my patience with her. It doesn't help that I still can't hear completely. I'm supposed to go to an ENT soon--yeah! I'll be soooooooooo glad to get my hearing back. It's like a pressure on my ears.

I guess it's the combination of her UTI and the antibiotics, but Mary talked all last night and has been seeing things today and talking about going home and saying all kinds of crazy things. Her hearing is suddenly horrible, too, so even when I talk right into her ear, she sometimes doesn't understand me. Then Rudi gets upset because I'm getting so close to Mary.

She's saying she wants to go to bed already, so I guess I'll put her there. It'll be a relief! I'll be so glad to do my regular silly errands tomorrow--just to get away for a bit!

Not So Pretty in Pink

Much to my chagrin, Mary somehow picked up my pink eye. Her ear is also doing some strange draining, but the doctor said it was fine. (I still can't hear right out of my left ear.) It was actually good in an odd way that she got the pink eye and ear problem because she'd been coughing a lot and acting strange in a way that made Jo and I both think she had a UTI--sleeping a lot, talking in her sleep a lot, incontinence, increased shakiness, decreased mobility, decreased appetite... It all forced me to get my rear in gear and take her to the doctor. We got to see the clutie-patutie, as Jo would say, Dr Lemon. He gave her a prescription for an antibiotic and eye drops. I used the nebulizer twice on her and that seemed to help the cough. We had sunny weather today and that does what no medicine can.

I got an email from J earlier this week, so he is still interested. I've had a lot of fun emailing with him--he's very clever with words and has the sort of sense of humor that I appreciate--silly yet intellectual at the same time.

It's after 11PM and Mary's just dozing in her chair, so I should put her to bed. Rudi is in my lap in front of my laptop with his nose tucked under one of my arms, which makes it difficult to write anyway. The dogs would be happiest if we went to bed around 10PM :-)

Misdirections and Conflicts

After three days I discovered that I haven't been using my ear drops properly. Perhaps that's why I'm still plagued with white noise and dizziness. How can they expect a sick person to read through complicated directions?

Mary seems to be coughing increasingly and complained of her eyes burning. Dear God, please don't let her have pink eye! Jo swears that she thinks she has it, too, even though her doctor said she didn't. Personally, I feel like I'm getting over it just fine!

Jo has been more than wonderful taking care of Mary. I feel like I've just been sleeping for days on end while she does everything. I lose my patience with Mary very quickly--because I feel so bad. This is embarrassing to me because I know Jo hears how awful I am. I did actually hear her sort of start to lose her patience once a few days ago before she went to the doctor. Yes, she certainly is a very patient person--in fact, the perfect person to be living her with us in many respects.

Jo is concerned that I don't seem to be getting better--still lots of drainage and the ears still bad. She thinks I ought to go see the doctor again, but I am as always unwilling. Isn't it funny that some people run to the doctor for everything and others won't go unless they're dying?

I'll be so, so, so glad to be better and have energy again and get this place cleaned up! Spring will be coming in a few months and new life. I've gained about 7-9 pounds that aren't even coming off with my being sick--very odd. We need to get back to eating more healthily and exercising. And to having a regular hygiene schedule. I have neglected Mary so badly! But I do the best I can.

I still haven't heard anything from J, so I'm guessing that he got bored with my "let's take it slow" policy a lot faster than I thought he would!

I think I've gotten Jo stuck on that eons.com website! It's really addictive, esp. since you can do the LA Times crossword puzzle (the one that's in our newspaper) and it tells you when you've typed a wrong letter. Also, if you ask it to solve a letter or word or even the whole puzzle for you, it doesn't count against your score, which doesn't make sense, but you've just got to be honest.

I guess I ought to go fold the clothes that I didn't fold last night. I've been on a p&j sandwich rage lately, so I think I'll have another one of those! Oi, oi.

Breakdown

I feel like an old car that was driven too long and finally just broke down. I tried every trick in the book to deal with my last cold (my doctor laughed at my list--I always show her my "health notebook"), but in the end I had pink eye, sinusitis, inner ear infections in both ears, outer ear infection in the left ear, and probably strep throat. I've been sleeping for what seems like months now. Well, that's not exactly true--I've actually been turned into a vampire. (I guess I didn't eat enough garlic in my anti-cold campaign.) I sleep all day and get up from about 3 to 6 AM.

I think I had something else to say but who knows what it was. I think I might try going back to bed. It's either that or fold the clothes. Last night I listened to a 90-minute tape on Chi Gong Breathing and watched the DVD "Eat, Drink, Man, Woman." I've been dreaming a lot about Gina lately. Dreaming a lot lately, period. Well, I guess that's what you do when you sleep all the time! Ha, ha, ha!