Merry Little

Well, we had ourselves a merry little Christmas and Game Night the following evening, and then I promptly became sick again. I almost went to the doctor--yes, that's how bad it was! My throat was hurting so much last night and I could feel something funky happening in my nasal passages. Jo was wonderful, fetching this and that from the drug store. I feel better today and have slept a lot, but I'm just so annoyed! I'm usually such a healthy person. It must be all that kissing I've done lately! That will simply have to stop. I have a strange feeling I won't be hearing anything much from J anymore anyway. I have this hunch that he's exploring other options, and you know what? I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with someone whom I'm always doubting. That's madness. So, anyway, I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself for not hearing from him again much.

Back to the holidays. Well, I didn't get a single card out due to my illnesses and I've gained about 7 pounds sitting around pigging out and not being able to exercise. Argh! Worst case scenario! I spent Christmas Eve baking and so couldn't get up early on Christmas to do anything I'd wanted to (i.e., make more things to eat), so we lazed around and got over to Mom's rather late. That was ok because they don't eat until late and there's never much to do. I didn't want to talk to my brother-in-law unless I absolutely had to, and since he and the boys were staying there, he was hanging around. It was a pretty lack-luster Christmas. It just seemed to be all about the presents since so many people eat at their own homes. What a pity. The games night seemed to be more about eating than playing games! Again, I didn't want to play any game where my brother-in-law was playing and I kind of had Mary to attend to. I made hummus and everyone really liked it, which surprised me. I didn't think they'd be so open-minded about a new food. Cool! I even got asked for the recipe--very complementary.

I've been getting into doing crosswords on the internet. It's a way to engage my brain and there are some that show you with a red letter that it's the wrong one, so it's actually easier to do! I need the help, believe me! It's very interesting to do them with Jo because it's apparent how our brains work differently. She amazes me with some of the ones she knows as well as some of the ones she doesn't. I would have enjoyed doing one with J to see how his brain works, especially since he's supposed to be such a genius at them. Oh, well, get over it! It is what it is, as Jo says.

I need to finish the baby afghan for my niece! I only have a few more blocks to do, but I just can't get motivated. I really wanted to have it for Christmas. A few years ago I gave a knitting kit to one of my nieces and she asked me this year to show her how to do it. She said it was very uncomfortable, but she seemed to pick it up really well. It's interesting to show someone how to do something that seems like second-nature to yourself and see how complicated it actually is and to have to slow down and analyze what you're doing. I can see how it's so difficult to learn to cook from a really good natural cook.

Mary seems to get especially needy and poopy when I get sick. I was glad that she went to bed early, ca. 9:45. She wasn't paying much attention to the television. She moans almost constantly now. I just block it out most of the time.

She was so thrilled with her gifts from Santa and was worried that she didn't give him anything and wondered why she got so much. (I got her a lot of warmer pajamas since she's also cold in the summer.) Jo and I told her she must have been a very good girl this year!

My brother-in-law stopped by with the boys on their way back to St L. The boys seem exactly like they did a year ago, like we'd just seen each other last month or so. I've got to write them regularly and send them some care packages. It kills me that Erik didn't even get a cake on his birthday. J has named me the Kuchenfee, or Cake Fairy. That's funny--I wonder if he knows that cupcakes are called Fairy Cakes in British English? I'll have to tell him :-) Or not.

I need to write more often if I'm going to carry on like this. The things I need to do seem to be piling up again. That's what happens when you're sick. I feel like such a wimp. If I had a regular job, I'd have to go to work every day. Listen to me! As if I don't work every day! That just shows you how much I don't even appreciate myself for what I do, doesn't it? On that note, I'm going to grab one of my German papers that really are piling up and go to bed to read a bit.

Visiting Cookie Baker

I'm sick again--blah! Yucky cough. Putting Vicks vapor rub on the soles of your feet really does help, though.

Jo's 12-year-old niece came over today and they baked cookies. I was sorry that I felt so horrible and didn't make her very welcome, I'm afraid. Jo says she had a good time. She's very sweet--and incredibly tall!

There was the funniest episode when I finished feeding the dogs the cheerios (treat recommended by the vet) and decided to read do the "knock knock" joke on the back of the box with Mary. The joke went like this:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
Oh, I didn't know you could yodel!
Well, we couldn't get past the "knock, knock" part because Mary just kept repeating "knock, knock" to me or asking what she was supposed to say. We finally jumped to the "a little old lady" part. Her response was, "well, I am an old lady!" I don't think she ever got that I was trying to do a joke with her! We were all rolling, of course, and Mary was just getting more and more frustrated. I tried switching to another "knock, knock" joke but she couldn't understand what I was saying and so I finally gave up.

It's very late and she still up. We stayed up till 2 in the morning yesterday watching a Bill Cosby special. Mary really enjoyed it, and we enjoyed her laughing. I've been joking that I have her in training for Christmas and New Year's Eve ;-)

Moany Mary

Even though she spent the whole time in a wheelchair, the shopping day must have worn Mary out pretty well because she slept till 2:30 in the afternoon the next day!

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I have been trying to write this entry for days now! I don't know where this week went. Mary moaned through most of it--nearly driving me to the edge. Jo gets a good laugh out of us because I'll say, "Mary, cut it out!" and she'll answer, "Shut up?" and I'll say, "Yes!" She'll be quiet for half a minute and then start in with the moaning again. She's so good-natured about it, but that doesn't make it any better. Sometimes I tell her she's driving me crazy and she says she can't help it. However, as funny or annoying as it can be, it is often a sign that something is wrong, so it worries me. Moaning during the day or night could mean that she has to use the potty, but it may also mean that she doesn't feel well. I think sometimes she can't explain what's wrong or maybe isn't even fully aware that something is wrong.

I went out with J again on Monday evening and I think it's safe to say that we both like each other a lot. He wrote me a very sweet email a couple of days later and I responded very seriously--trying to follow Dr R's advice about telling him what I want--and I think I may have scared him off. Only time will tell I guess. It's funny to be in love at an older age. Rather nice. I still have the butterflies but I can enjoy them more. I don't know if it's just that I have more self-confidence or that I have a better perspective (ie, more patience and maturity).

We stopped in to see my brother who was sick and I think I've caught what he had. I'm so mad! I was just getting over the other cold and now I've got a sore throat and feel yucky again. I slept a lot today and have been doing sinus irrigation, Airborne, peppermint oil under the nose, lots of fluids, eating lots of garlic and jalapeños, Mucinex... anything I can think of, obviously! I want to get over this and get on with my life finally!

I went to a podiatrist on Thursday since my hips are still hurting, to see if he could help me. I'm going to see about getting orthodics and see if it helps my hips. Maybe there's something about how I'm walking that's irritating them. My lower back seems to be doing better since I'm not lifting Mary. Or maybe it was Dr D's orthopedic adjustment the other day. In any case, he said he'd work on me again if the problem wasn't fixed with that one treatment, so I definitely intend to take him up on his offer! I just can't believe that the pain I'm feeling is arthritis. I think it would be different. But, then, the fact that I also have the pain in my hands does make it seem suspiciously like arthritis--which does run in the family.

Mary is getting better every day and I'm so relieved! How nice that she can hold her cup of water to take her pills without spilling it and without a straw (to insure that she drinks faster--it really does work, especially with those big fat McDonald's straws), or that I don't have to put her coffee in the travel mug--although she did spill her coffee all over my portable CD player the other day and now it doesn't work anymore. What a pity! It was so great to be able to have her listen to Christmas music on the radio all day. Maybe I can run out and get one tomorrow. It's wonderful, too, that she can walk around more. I don't have to push her everywhere. I've changed my tactic on getting her to not shake. I've been telling her that her shaking comes from tension and being scared, so she needs to take deep, relaxing breaths to stay calm. It seems to be working very well--yeah! She's also back to eating better. It really warms my heart to see her devour my Springerle :-)

Shop til You Drop

...unless you are in a wheelchair! We spent about six hours shopping today. That's pretty spectacular for me, considering I hate to shop (excluding groceries, although that thrill is also finally waning). I wanted to get Mary some warmer pajamas and nighties with long sleeves (which are so much easier for me to deal with). I also got her some really cute warm tops (one with Tigger on it!), corduroy pants and slippers that she can wear year-round (since she can't wear normal shoes due to her deformed feet and poor leg circulation). I also want to get her some large post-like earrings (like the ones you get when your ears are initially pierced). Her left ear hole is extra large--I think it got ripped when the ladies were taking care of her while I was at UK. She adores earrings but they all threaten to slip right through the hole. Mom got rather impatient when I started looking at the earrings, saying that Mary wouldn't even know she had them on, as she couldn't see them, so it was ridiculous to get them for her, but I disagree. I think it would be important enough to her that she should have them. Jo has promised to get them for me since she knows what I want. She enjoys shopping, so I'm glad she'll do it. I just get depressed seeing all of the material things that someone has to buy. They'll just wear out and be thrown away some day. And there's the whole wanting-business, which seems so unholy--the product of my taking my Catholic education too serious.

I got myself some underwear and jeans. I've spent quite a bit on stuff from Germany, so I don't deserve anything else. I almost got some gloves and a knit cap I didn't need but luckily came to my senses in time. Mom and Jo got various clothing items. We put it all on my Kohl's card because I got an extra 15% off. Oh, I also got a $50 gift certificate for spending so much money (argh!)--so Jo can use that to get Mary's earrings!

We went over to the mall and all got hot dogs. I haven't enjoyed food like that in a long time! We were all starved. Mary really dug into her dog with sauerkraut! Mom even got to have a beer. Then we looked in the Disney shop and had a cup of coffee at Starbucks, so we could sit and look at the huge tree and all the adorable little kids. This last bit has kind of become a tradition for Mary and me. It's such an interesting cultural experience to see all the people and how they're dressed--as well as what is for sale.

Well, I'm so glad all that shopping is finished! Jo promised she'd help me with the wrapping. It will be so fun to see Mary open everything and be so surprised :-)

PS--J came and fixed the chairs yesterday and then took the dogs for a walk with me around the pond down the street (a hidden jewel in this subdivision). He asked me if I want to go to a cafe on Monday night--my brother Fred has some photos exhibited there this month. Jo keeps reading me my horoscope which keeps saying not to get involved too fast with a person I'm interested in!

St Nick

St Nick came! How exciting! I'm curious to see how Mary reacts to the candy cane pop-rocks :-) St Nick also brought her a chocolate Santa in a sleigh with chocolate reindeer--she'll love that!

I've asked the young man I like so much to repair some kitchen chairs for us. I'm going to try to just be friends with him. I'm sure I'll get over my crush, as will he, with time. He came over to dinner the other night and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. We ate at the dining room table. Yes, I actually managed to clear it off! When he was getting ready to leave, Mary asked J if he knew any of her brothers. He said he knew Fred and she said, "Well, you know one of them, then." Why would she think Fred was one of her brothers? Or did she just not want to admit that she was confused by his answer? She'd had half a glass of wine (a mix of Cabernet Sauvignon and Manneschwitz' Elderberry wine) and was rather confused all evening. Having a guy there and eating in a different room may have also thrown her off.

Belated Thanksgiving

Mary and I went over to Mom's today and Fred joined us, too, for a belated Thanksgiving. Mom and I had a hard time getting our act together. It didn't get any better when Mom opened the bottle of wine I'd brought! I drank too much of it and ended up with a headache--argh! Alcohol and I just don't mix.

Jo did a very interesting therapy on my last night called Cranialsacral Therapy. Afterwards my tailbone (ie, sacral) area felt so much better! But today my hips hurt me a lot. I'll be so glad when I figure out what's wrong--or at least when it goes away. Unexplainable, fairly constant pain is no fun. You find that you want to talk about it all the time--and no one wants to listen to that. I certainly wouldn't! Anyway, it took me forever to get over to Mom's because of dealing with the pain in my hips. I do find that distraction is a good thing, so it was good to go to Mom's house. I also hate working in Mary's kitchen because the counter is too high and she doesn't have a kitchen table. Someday I will have a kitchen of my own with a good table in it! Isn't that a funny thing to have on your wish list?

Mom mostly took care of the turkey breast. I'd brought an oven bag, so she allowed me to cook it in her convection oven. I was so happy about that. I mean, we spent so much money on it and it had a special setting just to cook a turkey breast! How cool is that? You put in the weight and it figures out the time and temperature. Mom also took care of the stuffing, but I had to help out with the seasonings a bit because she still can't taste properly. I made two Sweet Potato-Butternut Squash Pies, which I never got to taste. Fred said it tasted good. I ended up giving him one of them. Mom thinks I'm crazy but I can't help giving him food. I know he appreciates it. Well, he'd better! I also made a coffee pie--sort of. I knocked the baked crust on the floor as I was reaching for an ingredient for the filling. So we kind of pieced what was left together in a smaller container and I pour some filling in there and some in a pie pan without the crust and baked meringue on both of them. Fred said it tasted wonderful, so I was very pleased about that. It's my own recipe and I'd like to enter it in the State Fair next summer.

Fred mashed the potatoes, which is always his job. I fixed up the coleslaw after Mom sliced the cabbage paper-thin--as only she can do. I put Umi plum vinegar and olive oil on it and Mom kept saying it didn't taste right, but Fred and I thought it was delicious. Mom had made delicious cranberry sauce. I think that was about it. Oh, no, I also made a loaf of "Fastest Yeast Bread" from Mark Bittman's "How to Cook Everything." It rose a bit too much and then sank a bit, but it tasted quite yummy! I couldn't quit eating it, unfortunately. This is all reminding me that I haven't put away the leftovers that Mom sent home with me--and Mary's jingling her bells. Gotta go!