Merry Little

Well, we had ourselves a merry little Christmas and Game Night the following evening, and then I promptly became sick again. I almost went to the doctor--yes, that's how bad it was! My throat was hurting so much last night and I could feel something funky happening in my nasal passages. Jo was wonderful, fetching this and that from the drug store. I feel better today and have slept a lot, but I'm just so annoyed! I'm usually such a healthy person. It must be all that kissing I've done lately! That will simply have to stop. I have a strange feeling I won't be hearing anything much from J anymore anyway. I have this hunch that he's exploring other options, and you know what? I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with someone whom I'm always doubting. That's madness. So, anyway, I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself for not hearing from him again much.

Back to the holidays. Well, I didn't get a single card out due to my illnesses and I've gained about 7 pounds sitting around pigging out and not being able to exercise. Argh! Worst case scenario! I spent Christmas Eve baking and so couldn't get up early on Christmas to do anything I'd wanted to (i.e., make more things to eat), so we lazed around and got over to Mom's rather late. That was ok because they don't eat until late and there's never much to do. I didn't want to talk to my brother-in-law unless I absolutely had to, and since he and the boys were staying there, he was hanging around. It was a pretty lack-luster Christmas. It just seemed to be all about the presents since so many people eat at their own homes. What a pity. The games night seemed to be more about eating than playing games! Again, I didn't want to play any game where my brother-in-law was playing and I kind of had Mary to attend to. I made hummus and everyone really liked it, which surprised me. I didn't think they'd be so open-minded about a new food. Cool! I even got asked for the recipe--very complementary.

I've been getting into doing crosswords on the internet. It's a way to engage my brain and there are some that show you with a red letter that it's the wrong one, so it's actually easier to do! I need the help, believe me! It's very interesting to do them with Jo because it's apparent how our brains work differently. She amazes me with some of the ones she knows as well as some of the ones she doesn't. I would have enjoyed doing one with J to see how his brain works, especially since he's supposed to be such a genius at them. Oh, well, get over it! It is what it is, as Jo says.

I need to finish the baby afghan for my niece! I only have a few more blocks to do, but I just can't get motivated. I really wanted to have it for Christmas. A few years ago I gave a knitting kit to one of my nieces and she asked me this year to show her how to do it. She said it was very uncomfortable, but she seemed to pick it up really well. It's interesting to show someone how to do something that seems like second-nature to yourself and see how complicated it actually is and to have to slow down and analyze what you're doing. I can see how it's so difficult to learn to cook from a really good natural cook.

Mary seems to get especially needy and poopy when I get sick. I was glad that she went to bed early, ca. 9:45. She wasn't paying much attention to the television. She moans almost constantly now. I just block it out most of the time.

She was so thrilled with her gifts from Santa and was worried that she didn't give him anything and wondered why she got so much. (I got her a lot of warmer pajamas since she's also cold in the summer.) Jo and I told her she must have been a very good girl this year!

My brother-in-law stopped by with the boys on their way back to St L. The boys seem exactly like they did a year ago, like we'd just seen each other last month or so. I've got to write them regularly and send them some care packages. It kills me that Erik didn't even get a cake on his birthday. J has named me the Kuchenfee, or Cake Fairy. That's funny--I wonder if he knows that cupcakes are called Fairy Cakes in British English? I'll have to tell him :-) Or not.

I need to write more often if I'm going to carry on like this. The things I need to do seem to be piling up again. That's what happens when you're sick. I feel like such a wimp. If I had a regular job, I'd have to go to work every day. Listen to me! As if I don't work every day! That just shows you how much I don't even appreciate myself for what I do, doesn't it? On that note, I'm going to grab one of my German papers that really are piling up and go to bed to read a bit.