Helpless

Mary really isn't doing well and I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. I think Jo feels the same, but I don't know what to tell her. I tend to get defensive and over-protective.

Mary's been sleeping most of the day. I got he to eat half a piece of toast, drink half a cup of tea and to take her medicine. When she talks it's rather incoherent unless she really wakes up. She said she wonders what's wrong with her. I think it's just all the lack of sleep finally catching up, plus not being well. She has had a few spells of sweating and getting overheated but mostly she doesn't feel like she's got a fever. She hasn't coughed as much since I gave her the Coricidan. When she complains of pain, I think it's actually often her shoulder that she means.

She had to use the potty and that went pretty well except when I had to wipe her (because she'd had a bm), and she couldn't really stand. I kind of propped her up with one hand and wiped with the other, getting it on myself a bit, which was gross, but I was mostly relieved to be able to do it at all. I've often wondered what I'd do if she couldn't stand for me to wipe her. What will I do if I can't take care of her? I do so hope she doesn't linger if I can't care for her!