Naive

Boy were Mary and I naive! I just talked to Anna about changing the deed to the house. She told me she was disappointed and hurt but didn't want to "buck" Mary because then Mary wouldn't ever talk to her again--she knew how Mary was--but that she wouldn't sign anything. Mary could whatever she wanted to do. (!) I told her it was her choice as to whether she signed the new deed or not and that I understood that her feelings but that she needed to sign the new deed, releasing the old deed. She asked me if Mary was going to leave me the house and when I said, yes, that was what she had decided, she accused me of always telling Mary that I wouldn't have anywhere to go after she died. I told her that I never brought the subject up with Mary. She was always the one to ask me what I was going to do after she died and I told her the truth, that I never put any pressure on her to leave me her house. What else was I going to say? Anna agreed about that. (But let me tell you that I am shaking to know that she would accuse me of pressuring Mary to leave me the house, in essence of stealing the house away from her, as if it were her rightful property! She said that they had helped Mary for 2-4 years. Oh, this is all making me ill. People act like they are so nice but they are only thinking of what they are going to get out of it. Am I any different? I do so truly hope so. In fact, I think I've been stupid for not thinking enough about what I could get out of this situation! Mary invited me to live with her and the next thing I knew, I was completely in charge of her financial and medical business! Anna (and I'm sure Angie as well, muchless Tom, too) would willingly leave me penniless and homeless, regardless of what I have done for Mary. I don't mean to be arrogant or self-praising, but I think I have helped Mary become a better person. I have given so many gifts and cards and made so many phone calls, keeping connections alive, in her name. Mary would have been dead physically if I hadn't been here. But she was also emotionally dead before I came. I hope I have helped her to become a more giving and thoughtful person, who also enjoyed life more.) In the end Anna said that she had to think about things and talk to her kids, although they would probably tell her to do what she wanted to do and she wouldn't buck Mary; it was all material things anyway. I then proceeded to tell Anna that I still wanted to know about tomorrow, whether she wanted to come visit Mary for a bit. I had told her that Mary has an eye doctor appointment at 11:15 and if she wanted I could pick her up afterwards and then take her home at 3:00 when Bonnie came. Or if she wanted, I could pick her up before the appointment and we could all go to B & E (the salvage store, where I know Anna loves to go) afterwards. She said she still had to wait to hear from her daughter-in-law about whether she was going to take her to the grocery store. Argh! And talking about the eye doctor, I am the one who took her to a new eye doctor because she always said she was so disappointed with her old one. Then she owed them $100 because she hadn't been to doctor yet and that was her, oh, what do they call it? Not deposit, but you know what I mean. Co-pay or whatever. I mentioned this to Anna and she swore that she had been to the doctor but Angie said she hadn't. I mean, it was absolutely stupid of her to forget and then go to a doctor at the end of the year. She should have said thanks for making me an appointment, but I want to wait till the beginning of the year. So I felt bad for her and had Mary pay the $100. And this is the thanks I get for being so nice. I had Mary give her a Reader's Digest Large Print Edition subscription for Xmas because I knew she really wanted it. I am really so stupid and naive! Anna always said that she wished Mary hadn't put her name on the deed and that she didn't care about Mary's money. As Mom says, she was talking out of the side of her mouth. I always suspected Anna didn't say what she really thought and now I know it's true.

You know, when I called Anna the other day, she sounded very energy-less. She said she had been awoken late by a phone call with no one on the other end and coudln't get back to sleep. I bet she'd gotten that letter and was upset. She said she'd decided to wait for us to talk to her about it; she wasn't going to broach the subject.

Well, Mary and I were so upset, we had a tiny Cognac to steady our nerves!

I talked to the financial advisor and he agreed to also witness the will. This will take place on Monday. I told Anna I could go get her and she and Mary could sign the new deed together and have it notarized then. So I hope she has decided by then. George was so nice and told me not to worry about anything.

I haven't heard anything from the high school. I'm trusting in God to take care of me and make everything turn out alright in the end. Am I still being naive? Have I got a fairy tale complex?