Getting Things Off of My Chest

I was absolutely right! Angie called Mom this morning and in the course of their conversation told her that it makes her mad that I tell Mary what to watch on TV and won’t let her watch O’Reilly and the Fox News Channel! And apparently they also discussed how they both thought Mary should have gotten a kitten! Argh! I explained to Mom (I’m sure not for the first time) why this cat was better than getting a kitten and she agreed with me and admitted that she hadn’t thought about things like Mary getting scratched by a kitten.

Unfortunately, Mom also told Angie about my talking to a financial advisor and redoing all of Mary’s investments. She told Mom that she was happy that I was taking care of Mary’s finances and really appreciated it. Oh, I should just quit talking about this because it all annoys me. Angie always said she was going to take care of Mary’s business. Then I moved in with Mary, and somehow Angie assumed that I was going to take over everything, and yet somehow she was also going to keep her finger in the mix. There were times when things didn’t get done and it was all because of this misunderstanding. And you can imagine there was a bit of resentment on my part for their assuming I was going to take over and yet not really letting me take over. They hired a lady to stay with Mary while I was at work the first year I moved in. This lady was extremely untrustworthy and bad-mouthed me quite a bit, but the aunts didn’t stand up for me. She was brainwashing Mary and making her ill (perhaps giving her something) and eventually stole quite a bit of money. I never liked this lady but they wouldn’t listen to me—knowing all the while that she was saying nasty, untrue things about me. They finally agreed to get rid of her when I put my foot down and said they had to decide between this lady and me.

I just wish that Angie would quit trying to control Mary. I don’t know whether she feels that it’s her responsibility or just that she has nothing else to do. And I wish that she would show me more respect, quit belittling me and accept that this isn’t just Mary’s home anymore but mine also.

So…yes, I’ve talked to a new financial advisor and he’s going to help me set up a trust fund and reinvest Mary’s money in a way more fitting for her circumstances. I had had suspicions that her investment company didn’t have her best interest at heart, and he explained to me exactly what they had done that wasn’t good. I wish I had talked to someone sooner. I guess it was irresponsible of me not to do so, but considering the situation which I explained above and that fact that Mary just adored this investment company (thought they were making so much money for her—ha!) and that I just felt intimidated by this company and my own ignorance. On one hand I still feel apprehensive. I mean, signing all of Mary’s money over to someone I don’t know… On the other hand, I like everything he’s said and how he’s dealt with us and feel very confident that he’s giving me the best advice and going to help us tremendously. He’s also going to set us up with a lawyer and a CPA so that everything is legal and all the taxes paid properly. And the lawyer will help arrange things so that I can be paid, which is a great relief.

Speaking of paying people…I’ve decided to hire someone to watch Mary for six hours a week, so that I can not only take care of errands (like groceries and post office) and spend time with Mom but also have some time of my own. Yesterday was my first time away and I felt absolutely giddy with my new freedom. It actually felt weird to be out driving. That’s sad, isn’t it? But the giddiness didn’t last long because I had to go over to Mom’s to help her—she was babysitting for one of my nieces and the baby was totally wearing Mom out. This child is probably the most beautiful little boy I’ve ever seen, and he’s incredibly good-natured, but he must have ADHD (and he’s only about 1 ½ years old) because he goes non-stop, touching everything he can get his hands on. Oddly enough, my juggling mesmerized him and actually got him to stand still. He hates to take a nap, so he was completely worn out and getting cranky. Because I was fresh his screaming didn’t bother me when I held him while I lay down with him to get him to take nap. I realize that they need someone to watch the baby, but I don’t think it’s right of them to ask Mom. She’s really too old to deal with a child like him. If he were laid-back it would be a different story. Oh, well, they don’t ask too often. I would do it (although with reservations for longer than an hour!) except that I can’t take care of him and Mary at the same time.

Oh, the cat is warming up to us, but unfortunately more to me than to Mary. She’s still quite nervous but is coming out more and really enjoys being brushed (with a wire brush!) and petted. It’s odd, but she seems to know her name (Marilyn), so there’s no changing it. Luckily, she also responds to kitty.