Restless

She is so restless tonight. She just won't settle down. She's also saying she won't sleep out here in the living room, even though I've explained why and that I'll be sleeping right in front of her on the floor. She's not really awake, but she just keeps moving around and picking at things and talking. I was trying to listen to my audiobook and she just kept asking me questions. She especially kept making the comment, "We don't want to see each other die." I think she thought Angie or Anna was here. Maybe she's thinking about Angie being sick. I tried the TV but she didn't pay any attention to it. I'm going to turn the computer off and lie down. I can't imagine going to sleep so early, but if it helps her...

I've turned out all the other lights, but it hasn't done any good. I'd get out my walkman, but I'm afraid I won't hear her. In her state she's likely to put her chair down and get up!

She was due a Darvocet about an hour ago, but she's not complaining about her hand and hasn't said anything about it for so long, I think I'll leave it till around midnight. I've had a brace on her hand all day and that may have helped.

She kind of woke up around eleven and ate a whole banana. I couldn't believe it. I don't think she's eaten a whole banana in years! Then she had to use the potty. It surprises me that I don't mind wiping her in the least--if she can get her legs open. It's rather like wiping a baby. I think if you love a person, then it really doesn't bother you. But sometimes the stench is rather overwhelming!

I hope they call me tomorrow to give me some instructions. If I don't hear from them by noon, I'll call the office b/c I need to know about whether to give her any medication before she goes to the hospital. Luckily August says he can help me carry her chair out to the car b/c she can't walk in her current state.

It's been rather lonely here tonight with her being so out of it. Last night was fun but tonight was a bit lonely and depressing, just like when I lived alone.

I took Anna her Xmas present today. She was as friendly as ever she was before a year ago. She acted like she was tickled pink about the present and told me about how she uses a heating pad at night. But you never know with Anna. She's likely to tell someone else about how extravagent or silly a gift it was. I hope she and Angie use the booties.

I feel so awful about Mary's current state. Did I give her too many drugs? Why is she like this? Did Bonnie give her the wrong pills?