Getting Older

So how did Mary spend her 94th birthday? In the car! Mostly. We started out the day with opening the two presents she'd gotten. After she was finished, she suddenly exclaimed, "It's my birthday!" Was she thinking it was Xmas??? Then I called the doctor's office. They are so great! They wanted to give us an appointment within an hour, but I knew Mary couldn't make that, so we made it for two hours later--and were still late. It looks like 94 is going to be even slower than 93. Well, there's certainly no rushing anyone that old. They took us right away. I told the nurse what was wrong (persistant cough, sores on toes, dry spot on heel, sleeping all the time). When the doctor came in, she asked Mary how she was and Mary said she was fine. Dr R said that wasn't what people were telling her, were they telling lies? Mary said, yes, they must be because she felt just fine! Do you believe it? That's always her pat answer. It's hard to get her to admit that she doesn't feel well. But, on the other hand, when she's in pain, she's really adamant about it and wants attention immediately.

We had to get a urine sample. Ugh! I hate that. Mary, unfortunately, is not like me. She cannot pee on command. Then a blood sample. She hates needles. No wonder, they've been rather rough with her at the hospital. Then a chest x-ray. Undressing the four layers I had on her because it was only about 20 degrees outside. Then getting her up on the table... Well, she only has bronchitis--not pneumonia, thank goodness. However, her cough seems like it's getting worse. The home health was supposed to call yesterday, but they didn't. Great. That means they won't get around to seeing Mary until next week. The antibiotic for the bronchitis is supposed to help the sores on her toes (Dr R called them ulcers--??), but, frankly, they look worse to me. Argh!

Well, after the doctor, we went to pick up Angie. It took her forever to get herself together and we'd called ahead. I finally made a comment, tongue in cheek, about how I only had so much gas in the car--it was still running to keep Mary warm. Well, that started things out on the wrong foot. She was already pissy with me by the time we got in the car. She said she'd been hurting all day. From there, we drove to the grocery to get some flowers--for Mary and Eddie. Angie remembered that she was supposed to put some old clothes out on the porch to be picked up, so we had to drive back and put them out. Big sigh, let me tell you! Oh, then we went to Moby Dick because I was starving by that point.

The next stop was the cemetery. But we stopped at the church on the way--I'd left Mary's really expensive umbrella at the reception after the funeral back in October. They didn't have it anymore. Ok, on to the cemetery. Cave Hill Cemetery is the ultimate cemetery, the quintessential cemetery. Beautiful. There's a pond and tons of huge and old grave stones and statues. There's even a tree-lined allee leading in to it. Gorgeous. And lots of little winding roads, so it's impossible to find your way and very easy to drive around in circles. We did eventually find Ed's grave and I planted some miniature red tulips on it. He and Mary have (or do I say "had"?) the same birthday. The last few years, he'd always send her a huge bouquet of flowers. I kind of missed that. After we left the cemetery, I had the most profound sense of... what would you call it? Fulfillment? Like I'd done... not the right thing in the moral sense but the right thing as in things falling cosmically into place. Mary stayed in the car, of course, but Ange walked down the hill with me. I know it made her feel better that we'd been there. Mom refused to come. She said she was depressed. Maybe it was too much for her, but I still wish she'd come.

Next we headed over to Mom's house. Well, we stopped at the liquor store first. With the pretext of getting Angie some beer. She's gotta have her beer. I actually wanted to pick up some champagne and glasses. When we got to Mom's, she came out and got in the car and we polished off the bottle of champagne. It was the perfect way to celebrate, except Mary should have been in the back seat with them. We were all feeling pretty good by the time we left. Mom said that when she got into the house, Dad was sitting there dressed, ready to go! They had been supposed to come over for a steak dinner, but we'd cancelled that because of the doctor's visit. He'd ranted and railed that he was coming--he really hates Mary because she insulted him a long time ago. What she did wasn't nice, but it's not like he's very nice himself.

Mom came over the next day and we had our delicious steak dinner. Then we watched some home movies that one of my brothers put on a CD.

Talk about not being nice... I got into with Ange Tuesday night. She had the Fox news channel on. I hate that channel. I think it's sensationalism, not news. And I think it's deranged that people would want to watch people being belittled and denegrated and bickering and yelling at each other. It makes my blood boil. I was in the kitchen, doing the dishes and trying to contain myself, but it eventually boiled over. I've asked/told Ange not to watch that channel here, but she watches it every night and I guess she forgets. It's a habit with her. I hope that's the case, not that she's blantantly ignoring my feelings, which she doesn't understand in the least. She was still pissy with me the next morning. Of course, it's always hard to tell whether she's pissy in the morning because she doesn't turn her hearing aid on half the time. So you talk to her and she just doesn't respond. She walks around in her silent world and thinks others are being rude. I don't know... Thank goodness Mom came over because she can brighten anybody up.

I woke up this morning with a terrible migraine and cramps and unexplainably sleepy after 9 hours of sleep. I was so nasty to Mary. It's like I'm Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde. When I felt better, I went to the grocery. Always an issue... I hate that it takes me over an hour. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to get out of there sooner. But I know that Angie thinks I take too long, so that made me even more stressed about it. When I got back, I left the car running and tried to just throw them in and leave, but after I got Mary's sweater on, she suddenly had to throw up. Really odd. Probably the antibiotic. So Mom and Dad (!) came over to watch her while I took Ange home. When she decides she's going home, that's it. Probably for the best. We're supposed to get some bad weather and it would probably kill us both to spend so many days trapped together. (Oh, Angie kept making a big deal about Mary needing the TV so loud! The audacity! She's just trying to get back at us for always saying that she had the TV too loud.)

After dinner, I still felt so miserable, I just heated two "bean bags" and sat on the cough with one on my stomach and one around my neck. Suddenly I heard Mary sniffing. She was crying. She was upset because I'd been so silent all night, she had convinced herself that I was going to move out. Then I started crying. Lord only knows why. I kept telling her she was silly, and there was nothing further from my mind. Then I tried switching over to the Animal Planet channel, which did cheer her up a bit, but she kept up with that, "If you promise not to leave me, I'll give you the house." I just told her not to try to bribe me because it wasn't necessary. (I've given up telling her that she's already given the house to Anna, so it doesn't matter if she changes her mind.) So then we called Angie. After about half an hour later, she had finally gotten cheered up. Angie was talking about how I ought to get a cat. Go figure. I thought Angie hated animals.

I think I'm finally finished. At least my cramps are gone, if not my migraine. And Mary is in bed, hopefully having sweet dreams.