On and Off, Getting Out, and Breathing

Mary found the on/off switch on the belly of her “pretty birdie baby” and turned it off, saying, “There. Now you can’t say anything.” Then she turned it back on.

We went over to Mom’s on Memorial Day. Neither of us felt like going out—it was so ungodly hot—but Mom sounded so excited on the phone, I knew we didn’t have a choice. We were supposed to fix a pork roast in her convection oven. When we got there, I found out that it was this huge, thick thing with several bones in it that she’d gotten for 99¢ a pound. We tried to use the CompuBroil option, but the meat was too heavy. I didn’t look in the book to see what the limit was. We just used the regular convection option. I had a recipe for a rosemary-mustard rub. Well, we cooked that thing for 90 minutes and it still wasn’t done. We ended up having to eat some ham. After dinner, I told Mary we’d be getting the table cleared off soon—I think she’d had a pretty boring time thus far. I teasingly asked if she knew why we’d clear the table off, and she said, “I think so!” “Why?” “Dominoes!” she replied. Mom and I about fell off our chairs. Mary did much better than she did the last time. At least, she did better until it got more complicated. I felt really bad because I won all three games, but I had to—it was fate! I won with the same domino every time. Too strange.

I want to get a Hoover carpet cleaner tomorrow. It’s on sale at Kohl’s. On one hand, I hate (makes me sick, really) to spend so much money ($140), but on the other hand, it costs $100 to have three areas cleaned professionally, so I’m actually saving money. Bonnie cleaned the carpet once and it looked so nice, at least, for a while. I wonder if I’m stupid to be doing this, but I’ve made up my mind that it’s for the best.

The guy came to do a maintenance check on the AC the other day. It hadn’t been running right. Odd because before then it had always run fine. He said we needed a new thermostat and also a pound of Freon. Well, that was all a bundle, but it is a nice thermostat (digital), and now I’m able to keep it set at 78 and be comfortable whereas I used to keep it at 74. Mom turned her AC on for the first time this year (!) for us the other day. She’s never had her AC or furnace checked and I want to send someone to check it. I don’t really have the money to do this, but I’m going to do it anyway. I just hope the guy doesn’t find a thousand things wrong.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it, but I’m a big believer in breathing. I tell Mary to breathe all the time because it helps her walk better. It helps her quit shaking. But just because I tell her to do it doesn’t mean she does. So I’d tell her I needed to hear it or that I needed to feel it (ie, her ribs expanding and contracting). I’d gotten so I’d practically yell at her because she didn’t really listen. Well, I was reading about affirmations the other day. I’ve tried them before myself. It suddenly occurred to me to try them with Mary. I came up with “I can do this,” but that seemed to short, so I added, “if I breathe.” Then I switched it around to, “If I breathe, I can do this.” That worked alright but it wasn’t perfect, so I add the word “deeply” after “breathe.” I started saying this to her. She kind of laughed at first because I was using the first person. But she was listening. Sometimes she even says it with me or she say, “That’s what I was thinking.” Isn’t it amazing? It’s just like my brother Kevin told me when I was a child, “If a puzzle piece doesn’t fit easily, don’t force it.”

I got Mary to come and sit outside this evening while I trimmed the bushes. She didn’t want to. She says she’s so sleepy. I think that comes from boredom. Luckily, it had cooled off and was bearable. I think she enjoyed it—I know I did!